He was not dead - but sleeping
MR BROCKLEBANK was in a tavern in the gentle climes of Cheshire the other day when he noticed in the latrine a gentleman who looked remarkably similar to a former Liverpool Liberal Democrat councillor.
The squire gave it not another thought (after all, what were the chances of said ex-politico supping in this particular inn so far from the city), but moments later the fellow made an approach (it should be noted that at this point events had moved out of the water closet), and sure enough, it was the very chap Mr B had fleetingly thought it to be.
So the pair passed the time reflecting on events at Liverpool council of yesteryear, before the ex-councillor was forced from office in the bloodbath of 2010. Rumours and gossip abounded, and indeed rumours were the subject of one of their exchanges.
The gentleman explained to Mr B how in the Municipal Building there used to be a small ante-room off the Lib Dem office in which many of the women of the group would sit clucking away and spreading gossip about all and sundry. And what Mr B heard certainly reminded him how gullible some involved in local politics can be.
Apparently, one ex-Lib Dem from many years ago suffered from sleep apnoea, which for those who don't know is a condition where low breathing disrupts one's golden slumbers.
However, those gullible gals within the 'Rumour Room' managed to morph this rather unremarkable condition into one where the old boy had to stay awake all the time because if he fell asleep he would die.
A perilous condition for sure, and one which would make spending any length of time in the council chamber a very dangerous pursuit indeed!
IT IS always good in politics to carve out a niche for oneself, especially when in opposition and the bounty of cabinet and mayoral lead allowances is denied to you.
Certainly Cllr Pat Maloney, a stalwart of the planning committee, has fashioned himself a role as the city's car parking champion.
At each and every committee for as long as Mr B can remember, Big Pat has raised concerns about the lack of adequate parking space associated with major developments.
So at last Tuesday's meeting, when the Maghull Developments plan to build a block of student accommodation on the site of the hastily-demolished Josephine Butler House was before the committee, Mr B anticpated Pat would have a heart attack when it was revealed that there would be NO parking spaces tied in with the project at all!
Certainly, if Mr B had been a betting man, he wouldn't have had much of a return on his flutter for suspecting Cllr Maloney was going to take exception to this.
As one present remarked to Mr B after the meeting: "When he dies it'll say on his gravestone 'Here lies Pat Maloney. He's concerned there's not adequate parking provision with this development'."