Girl Behaving Healthily

The new master cleanse (last year's was hallucinogenic and not in a good way apparently according to our Gwyn) involves cutting out dairy, meat, evil, gluten-filled grains, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, condiments, fatty nuts and the nightshade family which includes potatoes (ha, thought you'd be allowed chips, did you?), tomatoes, peppers and something else I think. Maybe parsnips.

That leaves, leaves, something called arugula (which I strongly suspect is leaf based), barley miso, lemon juice, cucumber, fish, broccoli, agave syrup and beetroot. If Ainsley Harriot has ever rustled up something lip-smacking from these ingredients, I'll eat my beret (red beret smoothie, maybe - sounds better than dinner round Gwynnie's place).

There's a skinny possibility it might just work in California, where it's hot, sunny and patrolled by hot-panted health police, but here, where it's minus four and the nearest shop is Spar, my determination would be likely to disappear faster than the big purple ones in a bucket of Roses.

The diet of this Girl Behaving Stylishly will be a less calorific, smaller portioned versions of what she consumes now, only with no alcohol and fruit and vegetables added* (*Except on Friday, Saturday, Sunday until 2pm, any birthday or holiday or acute episodes of PMT. Or of SATC. Or Peep Show.) I'll be a Girl Behaving Healthily. A GBH, if you will.

Anyway, my plan is to lose 20lb by Easter by having maximum 1500 calories a day which will make me about, or maybe just slightly on the hefty side, of 10.5 stones by early April. Not exactly Paltrow proportions granted, but definitely do-able and good enough for me.

Now I've written it down and visualised scientific tests have shown my chances of success are increased by at least 14.2 per cent. But any practical tips or snippets of inspiration fellow GBH-ers do please share.